ALCOHOL - YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH WHEN...

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

Job interfering with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

When you can focus better with one eye closed.

Every woman you see has an exact twin.

You fall off the floor.

The glass keeps missing your mouth.

Tony Blair starts to make sense.

When you go to donate blood and they ask what proof?

When vomiting becomes a relief.

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom.

Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol.

Waking up with a traffic cone between your legs.

Problem? I drink, I get drunk, I fall down....no problem.

Take me drunk, I'm home!

You've fallen down and you can't/don't want to get up.

Double vision so much the norm, you can't function without it.

You can't remember what your family looks like... or if you have a family.

You spend a whole night holding up walls to prevent their/your collapse.