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DO PEOPLE REALLY NEED TO BE
TOLD....?
On a
blanket from Taiwan: "Not to be used as protection
from a tornado."
On a helmet-mounted mirror for cyclists: "Objects in
the mirror are actually behind you."
On a Taiwanese shampoo: "Use repeatedly for severe
damage."
On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink: "After
opening, keep upright."
On a New Zealand insect spray: "This product is not
tested on animals."
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins: "Why not try tossing
over your favourite breakfast cereal?"
On Morphy Richards hairdryer: "Do not use while
sleeping."
On a curling iron: "Do not insert curling iron into
any bodily orifice."
On the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle: "Do not open
here."
On a can of spray paint: "Do not spray in your
face."
On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: "For best results,
start with clean bathtub before use."
On a container of lighter fluid: "WARNING: Contents
flammable."
On a bottle of hand lotion: "Warning: Starts healing
skin on contact."
On a box of household nails: "CAUTION! - Do NOT
swallow nails. May cause irritation."
On a bag of Doritos: "You could be a winner! No
purchase necessary. Details inside."
On a bar of Camay soap: "Directions: Use like
regular soap."
On Findus frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: "Fits one
head."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the
box): "Do not turn upside down."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will
be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron
clothes on body."
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: "Do not drive a
car or operate machinery."
On Nytol sleep aid: "Warning: may cause
drowsiness."
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: "For
indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for
the other use."
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains
nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or genitals."
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly."
On a toboggan: "Sledge may develop high speed under
certain snow conditions."
On a laser-printer cartridge: "Do not eat
toner."
On a knife sharpener: "Caution: knives are
sharp."
On shin pads for cyclists: "Shin guards cannot
protect any part of the body they do not cover."
On a takeaway coffee cup: "Caution: hot beverages
are hot."
On a microwave oven: "Do not use for drying
pets."
On a pushchair: "Caution: remove infant before
storing chair."
On the bottom of a cola bottle: "Do not open
here."
On a Harry Potter wizard's broom: "This broom does
not actually fly."
On a box of aspirin: "Do not take if allergic to
aspirin."
On a muffin packet: "Remove wrapper, open mouth,
insert muffin, eat."
On a kettle: "The appliance is switched on by
setting the on/off switch to the "on"
position."
On a ketchup bottle: "Instructions: put on
food."
On a bottle of rum: "Open bottle before
drinking."
On a can of air freshener: "For use by trained
personnel only."
On a bottle of baby lotion: "Keep away from
children."
On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle box: "Some assembly
required."
On a can of pepper spray used for self-defence: "May
irritate eyes."
On a frisbee: "Warning: may contain small
parts."
On newly-renovated ramp entrance: "Take care: new
non-slip surface."
On a birthday card for a one-year-old: "Not suitable
for children aged 36 months or less."
On a toilet-cleaning brush: "Do not use
orally."
On spray paint can: "Do not spray in your
face."
On a TV remote control: "Not dishwasher safe."
On a blowtorch: "Not to be used for drying
hair."
On a bottle of hair dye: "Do not use as an ice cream
topping."
On a mattress: "Do not attempt to swallow."
On a toaster: "Do not use under water."
On a push-along lawnmower: "Not to be used as a
hedge-trimmer."
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