STUDENTS HOUSEKEEPING TIPS

DOOR LOCKS
If a room clearly can't be whipped into shape in 30 days, much less 30 minutes, employ the “Locked Door Method” of cleaning. Tell anyone who tries to go in the room that you accidentally locked the door and you can't find the key. Of course, the locksmith can't possibly come until tomorrow. It is not advisable to use this tip for the bathroom.

OVENS
If you think ovens are just for baking, think again. Ovens represent at least 9 cubic feet of hidden storage space, which means they're a great place to shove dirty dishes, dirty clothes, or just about anything you want to get out of sight when company's due.

CLOTHES DRYER
Like above, except bigger! Avoid hiding inflammable objects here.

WASHING MACHINE & FREEZER
Like above, except even bigger!!!

DUSTING
The 30-Minutes-To-A-Clean-House method says: "Never dust under what you can dust around."

DISHES
Don't use them! Two words: Paper. Plastic.

CLOTHES WASHING
This is brought to you by an inventive teenager. When this teen's mother went on a housekeeping strike for a month, the teen discovered you can extend the life of your underwear by two … if you turn it wrong side out and, yes, re-run it. This tip is recommended only for students and those who don't care if they get in a car crash.

IRONING
If an article of clothing doesn't require a full press and your hair does, a curling iron is the answer. In between curling your hair, use the hot wand to iron minor wrinkles out of your clothes! Yes, it really does work, …or so I'm told, by other disciples of the 30-Minutes-To-A-Clean-House philosophy.

VACUUMING
Stick to the middle of the room, which is the only place people look. Don't bother vacuuming under furniture. It takes way too long and no one looks there anyway.

LIGHTING
The key here is low, low, and lower! It's not only romantic, but bad lighting can hide a multitude of dirt.

BED MAKING
Get a waterbed. No one can tell if those things are made up or not, saving you, oh, hundreds of minutes over the course of a lifetime.

SHOWERS, TOILETS, SINKS
Forget one and two. Concentrate on three.