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TWO-FACED
BUSH
To make his annual State of the Union
address, in which he vowed to cut the nation's
fuel consumption, George Bush embarked on a
1,400-mile round trip from the White House to
Nashville, Tennessee, using two presidential
helicopters, his Air Force One jet, a back-up
plane, a military transporter, one of his
£5million Cadillac limousines and a huge convoy
of back-up and security vehicles. He managed to
rack up a fuel bill of £20,750 as he warned,
"America is addicted to oil, which is often
imported from unstable parts of the world."
(Source: Sunday Mirror, Feb/06)
COP
A HANDFUL
A woman returning a pair of breast
enhancers to Marks & Spencer was told by a
male shop assistant, "If they don't fit I
can help you with them later." The assistant
got a written warning over the remark and was
later sacked from the store despite saying that
brain damage from a car crash had slurred his
speech and the shopper misheard him.
ONLINE
FRAUD
A story in The Times claimed one in
seven Network Rail staff had had their identity
stolen and used to steal millions from the
Treasury. Network Rail confirmed HM Revenue &
Customs (HMRC) was investigating the fraudulent
use of personal details of "significant
number" of its workers. The fraud is
believed to have used the tax credit system's
online portal. The Treasury denied a fraud
carried out on thousands of Network Rail staff
shows the tax system is in crisis. It must be
true then.
FROM
THE DEPARTMENT OF THE BLEEDIN' OBVIOUS
The US study of 4,000 15 to 26-year-olds
by Dr Leslie Snyder of Connecticut University,
reveals that alcohol commercials are directly
responsible for an increase in drinking among the
young. An amazing conclusion!
999
ABUSE
Police and ambulance bosses rapped 999
timewasters for calls that included,
“I’m having problems changing TV
channels.” Other bizarre requests in the
past 12 months were “I need a cup of
tea” and “Can you help me make my
bed?”. One person rang to say, “I have
seen my GP but can you give me a second
opinion?” and another dialled 999 because
they had toothache. A Westcountry Ambulance
Service Trust spokesman said, “Lives can be
put at risk if a genuine call is received and our
crew are tied up with a minor incident.”
Devon and Cornwall Police joined the condemnation
saying, “Some people dial 999 on their
mobiles because they have run out of credit and
want to discuss a problem. These are not
emergencies.” So why aren't these people
being prosecuted?
ALRIGHT
FOR SOME
Public sector workers earn £10,000 a
year more than those in the private sector and
money from tax increases, supposed to be spent on
schools and hospitals, has instead been spent on
a massive public sector jobs splurge. A
staggering 23,000 new jobs with pay totalling
nearly £800million were advertised in 2005. Six
million people now work in the public sector,
650,000 more than when Labour came to power in
1997, a rise of 13%. Many of the posts have a
37-hour maximum week, up to 31 days holiday, and
£1,000 loyalty bonuses after 12 months. Job ads
included a £50,000 Director of Understanding and
Enjoyment in the New Forest, a £25,000 Street
Scene Outreach Officer for Enfield Council and a
£26,000 Compost Development Officer in Scotland.
(Source: The Sun)
BRIBED
TO DROP CHARGES
Gary Glitter paid £1,150 each to the
families of two Vietnamese girls he is accused of
sexually abusing. Both families have since
written to the authorities asking them to drop
child rape charges, which they have done. If
convicted on those charges, Glitter could have
faced death by firing squad. He still faces
charges of child molestation and, if found
guilty, faces up to 12 years in jail. He may be
booted out of Vietnam without serving a jail term
for child sex offences and if he comes back to
Britain he will NOT be jailed. A Home office
spokesman said, “Unless a Briton was put in
prison abroad and requested to serve their
sentence back in the UK, we would not have the
authority to jail them on their return.” He
could be deported, even though Britain has asked
he be dealt with in Vietnam. His lawyer said,
“If deportation is applied as the main
punishment, he will be expelled from the country
without serving any more prison time.”
(Source: The Sun)
IT
WON'T CHANGE ME....
Gabrielle and Darren Nash who won the
Christmas Eve Lotto jackpot vowed that the
£15million windfall would not change their
lives. They have not yet decided whether they
will continue working and Gabrielle said,
"I’ve already visited the sales and
picked up a few bargains." Darren said,
"Hopefully it’s not going to affect me
and hopefully my mates and buddies are not going
to treat me any differently." Then why do
the lottery?
BIG
ON TALK
Britain has failed to expel a single
Muslim hate cleric since the 7/7 bombings and is
bottom of a European league for the number of
extremist preachers expelled. Germany is top with
more than 20 forcibly removed while Spain, Italy
and France have each deported four and Holland
three. Only Omar Bakri Mohammed has gone from
Britain, and he went abroad of his own accord. He
has merely been banned from returning. Tony Blair
claimed “the rules of the game were
changing” to expel preachers of hate
following the Tube and bus attacks in London by
four suicide bombers on July 7 which killed 52
people. (Source: The Sun)
DIDN'T
SEE IT COMING
Clairvoyant Simone Simmons is suing the
city of New York for $1million after breaking her
ankle in a pothole. "I didn't see it coming,
I can't see everything in the future."
admitted the spiritual healer. Miss Simmons
slipped off the kerb and into the pothole,
breaking her right ankle and snapping the
tendons. She still needs crutches to walk and
says she has not worked since because of the
injuries. (Source: Sunday Mirror)
MUSLIM
KIDS GIVEN HAM
A school accidentally served up ham
pizzas to Muslim kids. The school apologised but
that wasn't good enough for some parents. One
parent said, "I only found out they had
eaten ham when my children complained of feeling
sick." Did the non-Muslim kids complain of
feeling sick? Eating food that's banned on
religious grounds does not make it unsafe to eat.
TOO
YOUNG TO DRIVE
Jeffrey Willment-Coster left his
three-year-old son strapped into the passenger
seat of his car while he went into a shop to buy
him a Milky Bar. The youngster managed to take
the car out of gear, release the handbrake, then
steer 15 yards down the road. He came to a stop
when the car smashed into a parked police
vehicle. When Mr Willment-Coster caught up with
him, his son said, "Have you got my Milky
Bar?" Remember, this is a three-year-old!
SMOKERS
TO BE DENIED TREATMENT
Together with drinkers, smokers may be
denied medical treatment if their lifestyle makes
it ineffective. The National Institute for Health
and Clinical Excellence (NICE) said that doctors
who considered that a particular treatment might
not be effective, or cost-effective, because of
the lifestyle of the patient, may be entitled to
withhold it. The cost of treating smoking related
diseases is said to be £1.5billion, the amount
of tobacco tax received by the government is
£7billion a year. More than covers any treatment
don't you think?
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