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WOMAN RIPPED OFF MAN'S TESTICLE
Amanda Monti ripped off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands and attempted to swallow it. She was jailed for two-and-a-half years at Liverpool Crown Court after admitting wounding Geoffrey Jones. It appears that Monti flew into a rage after a party when Mr Jones rejected her advances so she grabbed his genitals, pulling off his left bollock which she tried to swallow. When she choked on it, she spat it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying, “That’s yours.” Doctors were unable to save the testicle but at least Monti said she was sorry for what she had done. Not half as sorry as Mr Jones I'll bet !!! (Source: Daily Mirror, Jun/07)

LAP DANCER ADVERT ANGERS COUNCIL
A marketing company is facing a fine of up to £2,500 after the silhouette of a naked lap dancer appeared on a field beneath a busy flight path in Surrey. The 100,000 sq ft advert, promoting a lap dancing website, has been painted under a Gatwick Airport flight path. Tandridge District Council said the advert was illegal and had been painted without proper planning permission. Sports Media Gaming (SMG) has refused to get rid of it, and claimed it was "operating within its rights". The sports marketing agency said the advert, bearing the logo "anytime, anyplace, anywhere", could only be seen from the air, and was therefore not subject to council planning regulations.

Steven Johnson, commercial director of Flightpath Media, a subsidiary of SMG, said the advert had already generated thousands of pounds of advertising and insisted the firm was not breaking the law. He said, "We are operating quite within our rights. We produce adverts that are only visible by people in the air. If the council own the rights to the airspace then we would be happy to hear from them." The company rents privately owned land from local farmers and landowners and uses pitch marking dyes to paint its designs, which are weatherproof for up to four weeks.

The council has written to the company advising it to remove the painting or face legal action. If found guilty the firm faces a fine of up to £2,500 plus an extra £250 for each day the advert remains in place. A council spokeswoman said, "They have not applied to the council for advertising consent. Generally people need to have advertising consent before displaying adverts." However, she said it could also apply for planning permission retrospectively. (Source: BBC News, Jun/07)

MAN SUES OVER ERECTION DRINK
A man is suing the maker of a health drink, claiming the vitamin-enriched beverage gave him an erection that would not subside. Christopher Woods said he had to be hospitalised because the erection would not go down. His lawsuit said he bought the health drink Boost Plus made by the Swiss-based Novartis pharmaceutical company, at a US drugstore on June 5, 2004.

Novartis' Boost Plus Web site describes the drink as "a great tasting, high calorie, nutritionally complete oral supplement for people who require extra energy and protein in a limited volume," in vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. Woods' court papers say he woke up the next morning "with an erection that would not subside" and sought treatment of the condition, called severe priapism.

They say Woods, from New York underwent surgery that day for implantation of a Winter shunt, which moves blood from one area to another. The lawsuit says Woods had problems that days later required a hospital visit and penile artery embolisation, a way of closing blood vessels.

Closing off some blood flow prevents engorgement of the penis with blood and lessens the likelihood of an erection. A spokeswoman for the company, Brandi Robinson, said the company was aware of the lawsuit but did not comment on pending litigation. Woods' lawyer was not immediately available for comment. (Source: Metro, Jun/07)

COUNCIL BANS JOLLY ROGER AT KIDS PIRATE PARTY
Morgan Smith's parents thought hoisting the Jolly Roger would be the perfect way to make the pirate-mad youngster's sixth birthday. The flag was duly run up the pole in the back garden, leaving Morgan looking forward to a party with lots of friends wearing eyepatches and wielding toy cutlasses. However, council officials banned Morgan's parents Richard and Sharon from flying it. The couple must apply for planning permission at a cost of £75, and then an assessment of the 5ft by 4ft flag's "impact" on the surrounding area of Stone, Staffordshire, will be undertaken.

Councillor Richard Stevens said the council had objected to the flag because "it was unneighbourly and could open the doors for all kinds of flags". A Stafford Borough Council spokesman said, "A planning application has been made for a Jolly Roger flag to be flown at a property in Stone. The application is currently under review and will include planning officers looking at the impact the flag has on the area. Legislation requires planning approval before it can be flown from the flagpole." (Source: Daily Mail, Jun/07)

JUMPERS FOR GOALPOSTS ARE 'TOO DANGEROUS'
Children have been banned from playing football in their cul-de-sac because using jumpers for goalposts is 'dangerous'. Council officials warned parents in Glenfield, Leicestershire, they face £100 fines if the ban is ignored. A county council spokesman claimed several complaints" had been reported about children setting up goalposts that were blocking the road. He added, "The children were potentially compromising the safety of highway users and causing a nuisance to residents. Such warnings would be considered only where a persistent problem is reported by residents." (Source: Ananova, Jun/07)

GERMAN IMPALED ON PLUNGER
A German almost died after using a sink plunger as a bath plug and impaling himself after slipping on a bar of soap. Dieter Bayer decided to use the plunger because he could not find the bath plug but as he stood up to soap himself he slipped and fell heavily on the plunger, wedging the wooden handle up his backside.

His wife, who rushed to the bathroom when she heard him screaming in pain, was unable to pull him free and called emergency services. An ambulance spokesman said, "There was a lot of blood, the injury was very serious, he could have died." Doctors operated for eight hours to repair the damage and it will be at least two weeks before he can leave hospital. (Source: Ananova, Jun/07)

RSPB BANS THE 'OFFENSIVE' WORD 'COCK' ON ITS WEBSITE
The use of the word "cock" has been banned on the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds website as some users may find it offensive. A correspondent on an online forum on the website was shocked to find that when he referred to a male blackbird as a "cock", the word was replaced by four asterisks. Condemning the move as "taking political correctness too far", the correspondent, identifying himself as JohnD in Holmfirth, challenged the forum moderator. However the moderator argued the move was not down to political correctness.

He said, "The issue is words that can be used in an offensive context and we should not forget that the RSPB website has a massive viewing from children." The filter used is built in to the Microsoft package used by the website, a spokesman said, "Our moderator is not sitting there making these changes." The moderator added, "Pretty much all internet forums use the same or similar filters. It is far from an ideal situation but it is better to be safe than sorry." Interestingly, the word "tit" does not cause offence. (Source: Daily Mail, Jun/07)