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What Planet Are They From?

Lord Chancellor Derry Irvine believes that burglars should not be sent to jail for a first, or even second, offence. He was backing up Lord Woolf, Britain’s most senior judge, who two weeks previously ordered the courts to go soft on burglary. Irvine’s comments come after a machete-wielding burglar, with 51 previous convictions, was freed at the Old Bailey by Judge Simon Goldstein so he could write poems. And at Norwich Crown Court, another burglar who admitted breaking in to seven homes was given community service by Judge Alasdair Darroch. What exactly is a “first offence”? It means the first time a burglar is caught and brought before the courts. That isn’t always one and the same thing. Young burglars are often let off with a caution. In the case of the “first-timer” before Norwich Crown Court, it was seven offences. And they’re just those he put his hands up to. Only a handful of reported burglaries are ever solved.

So it’s perfectly conceivable that a “first-timer” may have committed dozens of break-ins before the law catches up with him. Irvine doesn’t even think a second-time offender should be jailed, even though he may have been responsible for hundreds of unsolved burglaries, unless there are “aggravating features”. Clearly carrying a machete doesn’t count as an “aggravating feature” these days. Not according to Judge Goldstein, who released serial offender Mark Patterson to concentrate on his poetry while undergoing an 18-month drugs rehab programme.

There's little chance of Derry Irvine ever becoming a victim of burglary himself. He lives in grace and favour apartments in the Palace of Westminster which are protected by 24-hour security. There is even a checkpoint at the entrance to his apartments to stop the public getting too close. There’s certainly plenty of potential swag in his 15-bedroom home to tempt burglars. The luxury-loving Lord spent £600,000 of taxpayers money renovating the apartments, which come as part of his job. They have four-poster antique beds, wallpaper worth £59,000 and famous paintings. His second home is hardly in a crime ridden area. He owns an eight-bedroom farmhouse six miles from the Argyllshire village of Clachan, which has had two burglaries in 30 years.


A judge sentenced a drink-driver who killed three in a 90mph smash to be jailed for just 4½ years. Aaron O’Reilly, 19, knocked back vodka and other spirits before taking his step-brother on a ride in his dad’s Sierra. He was travelling so fast around a 30mph bend the car was balancing on TWO WHEELS. It collided head-on with a taxi, killing the driver and two passengers. O’Reilly was two-and-a-half times over the limit and had not passed his test, Bolton Crown Court heard.


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