Transport -
British Rail Excuses
"Trains
to Clapham Junction and Victoria are being
delayed this morning due to over running
engineering works. We apologise for any
inconvenience this may cause to your
journey." Engineers stopped
for too many coffee breaks.
"Services are running late this
morning due to an electrical fault in the Purley
area." The "electrical
fault" is used to excuse delays caused by
over running engineering works when the engineers
have over run by more than two days.
"Due to a lorry hitting a bridge
at Battersea Park, trains from Clapham Junction
this morning are subject to heavy delays."
Used when the "electrical fault" excuse
has been exhausted.
"The 10.15 service to Brighton
is still at London Victoria awaiting train
crew." Now the crew are on the
coffee.
"SouthCentral services are
suffering serious delays this morning due to a
major signalling fault at London Victoria." The
crew have now reached the choccy biscuits.
"Services to East Croydon and
Gatwick Airport are subject to delay due to a
small lineside fire at Balham."
Time for the crew's fag break.
"Train services this morning are
being heavily delayed because engines are being
affected by the wrong type of snow."
An excuse that emerges when BR management are
feeling particularly creative.
"Train services are being
delayed this morning due to fallen leaves on the
line." And this one is so
creative it really ought to win an award.
"We are sorry to announce that
the 08.40 service from East Grinstead has been
cancelled. This is due to hot weather causing the
engines to overheat." Can be
quite an amusing excuse to use, especially in the
middle of winter.
"We apologise for the delays to
train services this morning. This is due to a
broken down train in the Redhill area."
A common excuse, this one is often used when the
real reason is either petty or would be
completely unbelievable.
Other
excuses include.....
Passengers
in a packed carriage on Cup Final day (no extra
trains obviously) were informed that the train
was delayed 'due to the weight of the
passengers'.
The delay of a Thameslink train service was
announced as 'Due to technical technicalities'.
On a blisteringly hot day in July, the "air
con" packed in. A voice came over the
speaker apologising and pointing out that in
these older trains "the air conditioning
does tend to stop working when it gets hot
outside!"
A journey from St Pancras to Sheffield was
delayed due to "lack of air".
Station announcement one morning at Leighton
Buzzard: "The next train from platform two
will be the 7.28am to London Euston only. We
apologise for the late running of this service
this morning - this is due to a failed virgin at
Milton Keynes."
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