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TIGER SEX
A North Wales man has been cleared of possessing an extreme pornographic image involving a tiger having sex with a woman. The prosecution offered no evidence when it was accepted that the tiger in the clip was not real, and that it was all a joke. It emerged in court that police and prosecutors had not previously listened to the film with the sound on. Following the act, the tiger turned to the camera and roared: "That beats the Frosties advert!". Defendant Andrew Robert Holland of Coedpoeth near Wrexham, appeared at Mold Crown Court and pleaded not guilty.

Prosecutor Elizabeth Bell said that the prosecution had decided to offer no evidence against him. When asked by Judge John Rogers QC why that was being done, she said that when the case was previously reviewed the film had no sound track. After it had been further reviewed, the sound track could be heard, and it was clear that the film had been produced for the purposes of a joke rather than for sexual gratification. The judge recorded a formal not guilty verdict. (Source: Daily Telegraph, Dec/09)

NO REFUND
Nearly 400 rail enthusiasts paid about £50 for a Vintage Trains trip from Derby to York, pulled by a steam locomotive. A diesel loco arrived to take the train because sparks from the steam engine could have set fire to dry grass on the route. Vintage Trains said that the decision was made by Network Rail, which stopped all steam engines running in England on that day, and passengers have been told that they will not get a refund. So we never had dry summers during the steam age then? (Source: Derby Evening Telegraph, Aug/06)

SAY AGAIN?
Derbyshire Police Authority has worked out that the impending merger of five county police forces would cost £101m. Home Office Minister Hazel Blears said it would be £77m and that our council tax will not be increased to cover this cost. A Home Office spokesman explained, "We will pay 100% of the cost of restructuring so that the burden does not fall with the taxpayer." Er, where does the Home Office gets its funding? That's right, the taxpayer.

SIGN LANGUAGE
After regularly reading about pandering to minority groups, it makes a refreshing change to discover a case that fully deserves praise and the time spent. An entire school learned sign language to help a deaf new pupil settle in. All 48 children and staff, including a dinner lady, had lessons for 18 months to prepare for the arrival of 4-year-old Olivia Dillon. Students had weekly lessons with a tutor from the British Deaf Association. Teachers, staff and other parents studied at weekly adult evening class. Head teacher Anne Mitchell said, "They all volunteered and the staff are doing it in their own time." Olivia's family are delighted by the efforts of everyone at Lamerton Church of England primary in Devon. Olivia, nicknamed Livvy, has a cochlear implant, an electronic device surgically positioned in an ear which gives partial hearing. (Source: Mail on Sunday, Mar/06)

HOODIE THUG
Betty Wilbraham, an 82-year-old grandma, was asked to take off her hat in a pub because staff said it was a security risk. Landlord Tony Love said it was pub policy to ask people to remove their hats and Mrs Wilbraham had fallen foul of new rules banning all headgear. He said, "All customers and staff are treated the same. In this day and age you don't know who are the troublemakers. It is pointless having CCTV to protect people if those who cause trouble hide their faces. I do understand Mrs Wilbraham's point of view but it is for her protection as much as anything else. We have 13 cameras and we cannot be seen to be discriminating between the youths and elderly people." (Source: Daily Mirror, Mar/06)

LIFE CAN BE HARD
Maurice Baumann was spared a year's jail sentence after the court was told he had suddenly developed a permanent erection. He was rushed to hospital with the problem but even after a week's treatment, doctors admitted they could only get his manhood to "half-mast". The court ruled Baumann could stay out of jail while his problem lasted. Shame, he would probably have proved very popular in prison. (Source: Daily Mirror, Mar/06)

MEGABOWL HAS BEEN TRANSFORMED
Derby's Megabowl has been given a £600,000 facelift and, as part of the upgrade, will be renamed Tenpin. The bowling alley area has been transformed by new lighting, which includes neon effects offering glow-in-the-dark bowling. Also added are hi-tech games machines and a new bar.

SPARED PRISON
Keith Childs of Sinfin, was sentenced to a two-year community rehabilitation order at Derby Crown Court for burglary, theft, possession of a class C drug and escaping from custody. Childs, who also breached a previous drug-testing order, robbed an 83-year-old woman at her home and was involved in a burglary of a property. He was then arrested and police found cannabis at his home. Recorder Hillyer said, "You should have been going to prison for a very long time and you know that if you break this order you will." Especially if he doesn't have a TV licence.

SCALES OF JUSTICE
Adam Franklin stole items from two Derby stores, racially abused, punched and pushed a customer in one of them before hitting the female owner of the shop, punched a man in the street on leaving the store, and then threatened the owner of another store with a knife when caught in the act of stealing. His sentence? 80 hours of community punishment and a two-year community rehabilitation order. What does he have to do to get a jail sentence? In contrast, Annette Goodyer was given a 40-day jail sentence for a £19,000 benefit fiddle over two years. It happened because she didn't report that her estranged husband had returned to the family home, and much of the £19,000 had gone towards paying off his debts. She didn't terrorise, injure or threaten anyone but the court felt it serious enough to impose a spell in prison.

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