PERSONALISED POSTCODES

In a new plan to generate increased profits, the Royal Mail is to take a leaf out of the DVLA’s vanity licence plate business and enable the public to change ‘functional but drab’ post codes to ones that express their individuality and character through a personalised range.

The new customised post code register is to include name-based entries such as J1M5 GAFF, ‘cheeky’ codes such as H0T L1PS or F15T M3, and a range of more discreet codes that pundits have said could be popular with parents keen to avoid difficult questions about how exactly their address falls into the most popular schools’ catchment areas.

While the general public is expected to take to the scheme in the hope of adding value to rapidly dwindling property prices, Post Office spokesman Jim Lancaster noted that there has also been significant interest from high-profile celebrities, billionaire businessmen, and politicians. He revealed that one of the first personalised post codes to be sold was V1R G1N, ‘and we wish Miss Widdecombe many years of enjoyment of her purchase.’

The Royal family were also rumoured to be interested in new post codes for their estates across the country but, according to Palace insiders, Princes Philip and Harry have so far only come up with abbreviations that clash with requirements on racial equality, taste and decency.

The move was described by some commentators as a ‘pointless gimmick’, but this was strongly denied by the Royal Mail, who highlighted several accompanying benefits such as the free access to the new ‘Premium Second’ class of mail delivery, which will arrive in the same time-frame and condition as traditional second class post but delivered by ‘slightly more attractive postmen’.

"We’re very confident the scheme is going to take off and really capture the public’s imagination in the same way personalised plates have," insisted Lancaster, "why already we’ve heard of one young wag who was so keen to get one he’s gone and changed his name to HA4 1JT!" (Source: News Biscuit, Feb/09)