TwatTax
     
     
If the twat were sold (for example through postcards in Central London phoneboxes) then the owner should declare her earnings. Normally, this would be treated as income tax so would typically attract up to 40% income tax, however if she has a pimp then 20% corporation tax may apply instead.

In the case of the twat being used for free, in theory the tax office could consider this to be services provided in kind, and thus determine a going rate for the service provided. In practise this never happens, because the revenue rate from married couples would be as close to zero as makes no odds.

There is also VAT to consider. Most owners of twats consider their users to be rather cold, so the 5% fuel rate doesn't apply. The author has yet to find a use for one, so it wouldn't appear to be an essential either. So, unfortunately, it would appear that a further 17.5% tax must be applied.

It is also possible that were the government to start taxing this particularly popular, and thus rather lucrative activity, then a high tax rate may well be applied. This would of course be under the guise of discouraging the spread of Aids and thus being good for the planet. However, the inevitable unrest and ultimate blockading of Belgravia brothels and saunas in Victoria would certainly make MPs see sense.
 
 

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