Only in the movies.....

Women wear high heels in bed.

Men are never impotent.

When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

If a woman gets caught masturbating by a strange man, she won't scream with embarassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

Women always orgasm when men do.

A blowjob will always get a woman off receiving a speeding ticket.

All women are noisy lays.

People in the 70's couldn't perform unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they orgasm.

Double penetration makes women smile.

Asian men don't exist.

If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't knock seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

Nurses suck patients cocks.

Men always pull out.

When your girlfriend catches you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before screwing the both of you.

Women never have headaches....or periods.

When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

A man ejaculating on a womans arse is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

Men don't have to beg.

When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

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