"Squawks" are problem
listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance
crews.
Problem: "Left inside main tyre
almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left
inside main tyre."
Problem: "Test flight OK, except
autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed
on this aircraft."
Problem 1: "No.2 Propeller seeping
prop fluid."
Solution 1: "No.2 Propeller seepage
normal."
Problem 2: "No.1, No.3, and No.4
propellers lack normal seepage."
Problem: "The autopilot
doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."
Problem: "Something loose in
cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in
cockpit."
Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic
leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."
Problem: "Number three engine
missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right
wing after brief search."
Problem: "DME volume unbelievably
loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more
believable level."
Problem: "Dead bugs on
windscreen."
Solution: "Live bugs on
order."
Problem: "Autopilot in altitude
hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem
on ground."
Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF
mode."
Problem: "Suspected crack in
windshield."
Solution: "Suspect you're
right."
Problem: "Aircraft handles
funny."
Solution: "Aircraft warned to
straighten up, fly right, and be serious."
Problem: "Target radar hums."
Solution: "Reprogrammed target
radar with lyrics."
Problem: "Mouse in cockpit."
Solution: "Cat installed."
Problem: Pilot's seat cushion too hard.
Solution: Exchanged pilot & co-pilot
seat cushions.
Problem: Radar Alt inoperative.
Solution: System only works in flight.
Problem: Radio inoperative.
Solution: Short between headset.
Problem: "Friction locks cause
throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're
there for."
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