Rules for men

2) The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3) No male can possibly know all the rules.

4) If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

5) The female is never wrong.

6) (If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.)

7) (If rule 6 applies, the male must apologise immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)

8) The female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9) The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.

10) The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11) The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

12) The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13) The male is expected to mind read at all times.

14) The male who doesn't abide by the rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, is a wimp.

15) Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.

16) At no time can the male make such comments as "insignificant" and "is that all?" when the female is complaining.

17) If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void!

and if men ruled the world...

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."

Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

"Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse.

Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

There would be a device that automatically raised and lowered toilet seats.

2005 Cloning Act: "Only Britney Spears may be cloned."

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