Trouser Coughs (Fartology)

A fart is a combination of gases (nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, methane, and hydrogen sulphide) that travels from a person's stomach to their anus. When a person swallows too much air or eats foods that the human digestive system cannot digest easily, gas becomes trapped in their stomach. The only way for this excess gas to exit the body is through the anus.

The gas that makes your farts stink is the hydrogen sulphide. This gas contains sulphur which causes farts to have a smelly odour. The more sulphur rich your diet, the more your farts will stink. Some foods that cause really smelly farts include: beans, cabbage, cheese, and eggs.

The scientific name for farting is flatulence. The word 'fart' is just one of many different terms used to describe the release of gases from the human body. Other popular names for farts or farting include: gassers, stinkers, air biscuits, bombers, barking spiders, rotten eggs, and wet ones. You can pass gas, break wind, blast, beef, poof, rip one, let one fly, step on a duck, and cut the cheese.

Farts can be stinky, wet, loud, or silent but deadly. The average healthy person farts 16 times a day. That's a total of about 17 oz.gas, and don't be fooled by girls who tell you they never fart. Everyone farts, in fact, females fart just as much as males. Many animals fart too, cats, dogs, and cows. Elephants fart the most. People fart the most in their sleep and farts that contain a large amount of methane & hydrogen can be flammable.

Types of Farter

DISHONEST - those who fart and then blame the dog
FOOLISH - those who keep their farts inside
PROMPT - those who always have a fart ready
MISERABLE - those who cannot fart
CLEVER - those who fart and cough at the same time
DISAPPOINTED - those whose farts do not emit odour
ACUTE - those whose fart smells indicate their recent diet
MEAN - those who fart in bed and shake covers over spouse
VAIN - those who love the smell of their own farts
AMIABLE - those who love the smell of others farts
CONFIDENT - those who let out really loud farts
SHY - those who let out silent farts
SCIENTIFIC - those who bottle their own farts
UNFORTUNATE - those who start to fart but shit instead
NERVOUS - those who stop in mid fart
HONEST - those who confess to the fart
JEALOUS - those who claim the farts of others
INSECURE - those who compare their fart quality to others
THE FARTERS FARTER - those rare farters whose farts clear moving vehicles

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