Customer Dont's
     
     
DON'T mumble. A mumble is not the appropriate way to thank me for standing 8 hours a day ringing up your purchases. How about a "thank you"?

DON'T subject me to your screaming kids. If your brats start screaming their heads off in my line, it's a pretty good indication that they're tired. Why don't you be a good parent for a change and take them home instead of spending money that you don't have on things you don't need?

DON'T ask if you can open the box to see what's inside. Don't just open the box regardless of what I say, and don't moan that all the parts aren't in there when the box plainly has a protective seal on it. The product is not yours until you buy it.

DON'T whine about the return policy. If I tell you that you can't return a product, there's a pretty good reason behind it. Don't yell at me because you didn't read the return policy. "Who reads the back of the receipt?" is not an acceptable excuse.

DON'T tell me that you'll "never buy anything from this store again". I don't care much. Don't tell me that you'll "tell all your friends not to shop here again" - because they will. Don't tell me that you "have £10,000 in the bank" - I'm not impressed.

DON'T expect me to change any physical laws. "I'm two hours late for an appointment, wait on me NOW." (Like that is going to make you less late).

DON'T ask me 20 questions at the counter. Yes, I may work here, but no, I don't know everything. Do you see the word "Manager" printed on my name tag? And please, don't say, "I'm just looking," and then 2 seconds later, "Do you have..." For some reason, it just really pisses me off when you don't have any memory of what you are looking for.

DON'T try to be funny...you probably aren't, or you'd be a comedian. Every time an item doesn't ring up don't say "Well, it must be free", "It's free, then, right?", or something along those lines jokingly. This happens at least ten times a day. You need to stop making lame jokes, and think about things: if something has the possibility of happening more than once throughout the day (like an item not ringing up), don't you think that someone else might have already made that lame joke?

DON'T attempt to intimidate me with your "position in the community" to gain special treatment you are just another footslogger to me.

DON’T tell me that "this isn't the way it was done the last time" - that was then, this is now, do we have a problem with the concept of time?

DON'T ask me something if you see and hear me talking on the phone with someone else. Wait until I hang up.

DON'T go into a chemist, open a nasal inhaler, stick it up your nose, then try to put it back in the package and back on the shelf and walk out. Are you really that f*cking stupid that you think we didn't see you do it? Do you think you can just "borrow" a few sniffs and put it back without buying it? Do you honestly think anyone else is going to buy that nasal inhaler?

DON'T throw your money at me when I have my hand out for it. I'm not a stripper.

DON'T proclaim how "good" of a customer you are and how many "years" you've shopped at an establishment. Only the whiny loser that staff can't stand make such bold, arrogant statements. If you truly are a good steady customer, the staff will know it and you never have to state the fact.

DON'T let your kids run riot in the toy section, take things out of their boxes, scatter stuff on the floor, etc. while you stand there and watch them!

DON'T whistle and shout across the department to attract my attention. I'm not your dog.

DON'T let your kids run into my legs all day. They may get injured (not necessarily accidentally...).

DON'T tell me that the "shopping trolley, doesn't fit through the checkout line", or "that's a tight fit" when you know I hear it at least 50 times a day.

DON'T order from the passenger seat in the drive-thru. Or, if you absolutely must order from the passenger seat (and you'd better have a good reason), try to speak in a voice loud enough that at least the driver can hear you, then maybe I might be able to pick out enough of what you're saying to actually take your order.

DON'T assume that no one will mind if you have TOO MANY ITEMS for the Express Checkout line. This includes trying to count 20 items as "one" just because they're identical cans of cat food, etc.

DON'T let your kids play on the stairs in the store, and don't give me dirty looks or yell at me when I tell them to get down.

DON'T threaten me with your stupid lawyer. I hate those yuppie morons even worse than I hate your attitude, and I'll tell her/him to F*CK OFF even more quickly than I told you.
 
 

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