Alcohol Warnings

Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an arse-hole.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.

Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named THE BULL.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

You drink too much when...

Job interfering with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

When you can focus better with one eye closed.

Every woman you see has an exact twin.

You fall off the floor.

The glass keeps missing your mouth.

Bill Clinton starts to make sense.

When you go to donate blood and they ask what proof?

When vomiting becomes a relief.

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom.

Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol.

Waking up with a traffic cone between your legs.

Problem? I drink, I get drunk, I fall down....no problem.

Take me drunk, I'm home!

You've fallen down and you can't/don't want to get up.

Double vision so much the norm, you can't function without it.

You can't remember what your family looks like... or if you have a family.

You spend a whole night holding up walls to prevent their/your collapse.

Back to Top