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| It's amazing the things some people are afraid of... | Phobias | |
| A New Zealand handyman is using high tech parts bought over the internet to make a cruise missile in his garage. Bruce Simpson says he plans to publish step-by-step instructions on a website about how to make the jet-powered missile and that it will be able to fly 60 miles from his home north of Auckland in less than 15 minutes. The missile could carry a small warhead weighing 22lbs, and Simpson claims the New Zealand Air Force would have no way of stopping it. The 49-year-old, who works as an internet site developer, says his missile project, which he says will cost less than £1,750, is intended to warn governments how easy it would be for terrorists to build one. | ||
| Lawyers "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"....more |
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| Law Suits The law was once a noble profession and lawyers were upright men respected throughout their entire community. However, priorities have changed and now no lawsuit is too ludicrous.....more |
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| How much do you know about babies? | ||||
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| How to
Build an Atom Bomb This project will cost between £5,000 and £30,000, depending on how fancy you want the final product to be. Since last week's column, "Let's Make a Time Machine", was received so well in the new step-by-step format, this month's column will follow the same format.....more |
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This is an actual letter sent to a bank in America. The bank thought it amusing enough to publish in the New York Times. What's sad is the bank thought it amusing....read English is a strange language. There's no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple and English muffins aren't English.....more Want that job? Then give yourself a better chance. Here's what you should know before you apply. Learn the....lingo Special High Intensity Training |
Engineering
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In an attempt to give prostitutes in Amsterdam a little time off from their hectic schedules, 'Net Wank Booths' are to be installed on the streets of the city....more Is it possible to wank yourself into a coma?....Find out I have just received the aids leaflet through my door and would like to apply straight away for aids.....more |
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| Customers don’t have a lot of features. They are rarely right, they just think they are. If the customer was always right, then there wouldn’t really be much need for the good, hard working customer service assistant.....more |
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| A Swedish church newspaper reported a growing number of explosions in caskets during cremations, sparked by undetected items including heart pacemakers, whose batteries ignite in the intense heat. Next of kin and friends were adding to the problem by leaving explosive farewell tokens such as bottles of alcohol in the coffins. Silicon implants in women who had had cosmetic breast surgery were also known to have exploded during cremation. | ||||
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Olympic Games |
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If all else fails... Read the Instructions |
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Did You
Know? |
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| Lingam
Gnosis Forget palmistry, everything you need to know about your man is written on his cock. Lingam gnosis is here and it beats the crap out of reading tea-leaves. Lingam gnosis is based on the belief that all penises fall into one of four broad essential categories or types - fire, air, earth and water. Most commonly however, penises are a combination of two or more of these types.....more |
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| Viagra Overdose The first documented case of a Viagra overdose has been reported by emergency room staff at a Houston hospital. Jeb Hoswicker nearly bled to death from the wound he received when his penis exploded.....more |
   Things are not always what they at first appear to be !!! |
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Classic TV Comedy Clips (To download, right click on the link and choose 'Save Target As')
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| Extracts
from actual letters received from the public concerning.... Accident Claims Housing Associations Welfare Benefits Child Support |
 Newspaper Ads Slogans |
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| Under the
Emergency Powers Act (1939) as amended by the Defence Act (1978), you are hereby notified that you are required to place yourself on standby for possible compulsory military service in the Iraq Conflict.....more |
Man is Buggered by a Dog |
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| School Sick Notes Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. A collection of actual excuse notes from parents.....more |
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Legitimate uses
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