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BRITISH
WORKMANSHIP
Line-painters didn't bother cleaning up
the gutter of dirt and filling potholes - they
just went around them. Cornwall County Council
was forced to issue a grovelling apology to
Newquay locals for their contractors’ shoddy
work. The wavy line was later removed before
workers tidied up and filled the holes to prepare
for a proper job. (picture) Road workers painted a
white line straight over the back of a dead
badger which was lying by the side of a main
road. Somerset council had given the marking job
to a private contractor. A spokesman said,
“This is totally unacceptable and we will be
asking for an explanation.” (picture) A month previously
workmen painted yellow lines around a traffic
cone in Huddersfield, West Yorks. (picture)
NHS
STILL NOT WORKING
Teenager Elliot Knott, who is in
constant pain after injuring his back in an ice
skating accident, is travelling to India for
treatment as he would have to wait more than a
year on the NHS. Southampton General Hospital
said he would get an appointment in 17 weeks'
time and would then have to wait nine months for
an op. The hospital said, "Staff who have
these specialised skills are in short
supply." To go private in the UK would cost
about £25,000 whereas the same treatment in
India costs around £3,000.
HARD
WORK, THIS GLOBAL WARMING
A city's grass cutters threatened to
strike because global warming has pushed up their
work load. As temperatures and rainfall have
increased they are being ordered to work 44-hour
weeks throughout the summer to cope with
faster-growing grass. More than 30 staff claim
their new contracts, up from 37 hours to 44 hour,
are the equivalent of a six-day week. They will
work a 30-hour four-day week in winter. Mick
Walsh, a charge-hand whose team tends open
spaces, and soccer pitches in Carlisle, said,
"We used to work from 7.30am to 3.30pm. Now
we have to work until 5pm from Monday to
Thursday, and till 4pm on Friday, and people are
getting tired."
WHAT
A BALLS UP!
David Walker went home for a sawn-off
shotgun after spending an evening in the pub
arguing with an old pal about whose turn it was
to buy a beer. He stuffed the gun down his
trousers and, after drinking 15 pints of lager,
the gun went off, blowing away his nuts.
After the shotgun had discharged, he placed it in
a rubbish bin and crawled back to his home
address. Walker underwent emergency surgery
following the incident and there are still
pellets embedded within the scrotum area of his
body. He'd bought the gun for just £15 four
years previously for his own protection. He was
sentenced to five years in prison.
CUSTOMS
AND EXCISE ARE IN TROUBLE
Brussels has accused British Customs of
disproportionate tactics in tackling people
bringing excessive amounts of alcohol and tobacco
into the UK. The UK Government has been told it
has two months to satisfy the commission its
approach is not in breach of EU or face legal
action. A spokesman for the Treasury responded by
saying that the UK Government would not be
'lectured' by someone 'pretending to be a friend
of the British tourist'.
BETTER
SAFE THAN SORRY
A full-scale 999 rescue costing £5,000
was launched to save a £20 toy plane. Two cops,
12 coastguards and four lifeboat crew were
scrambled when the balsa wood glider was spotted
200ft up a cliff. Officials defended the costly
operation, which was launched despite the
toy’s owner not even reporting it lost, by
saying, "A child MIGHT have risked climbing
the perilous cliffs to get it."
BLAIR'S
NANNY STATE
Tony Blair denied he was turning Britain
into a 'nanny state' and said it was not his job
to tell people how to live their lives. This is
despite his government pushing ahead to ban
public smoking, smacking children and certain
forms of junk food advertising.
INTEGRATION
Schoolgirl Shabina Begum lost her High
Court battle for the right to wear traditional
Muslim dress in the classroom. She said she was
being denied her "right to education and to
manifest her religious beliefs" by not
wearing the gown. Shabina's solicitor-advocate
Yvonne Spencer said her client was devastated at
the news and added, "The family feel this
decision doesn't help integrate Muslims within
our society." But surely, wearing the school
uniform would help achieve this and if you don't
like the school uniform, choose another school.
You can't really have everyone wearing their own
traditional costume, can you?
TIME TO CHANGE
Safety campaigners are calling for
British summertime to be maintained all year
round. Royal Society for the Prevention of
Accidents (Rospa) said 450 serious deaths and
injuries occur during each year's five months of
Greenwich Mean Time (GMT). Instead, they want to
keep to British Summer Time (BST) in winter and
change to "double summertime" between
March and October. This was first tested between
1968 and 1971, with figures suggesting a
reduction in deaths and serious injuries of about
2,500 each year. Despite this, MPs voted against
permanent change. The trial between 1968 and 1971
was not adopted because objections were raised by
the farming and construction industries and
others involved in outdoor work. So how would it
be different this time?
MOVING
CLOSER TO A POLICE STATE
Mark Mower reduced his speed to 5mph to
drive over speed humps outside a school. A police
van behind turned on its blue lights and stopped
him before an officer declared, "You were
going too slowly." Mark was then given a
verbal caution and sent on his way. A police
spokesman later said they would send him a letter
of apology and added, "Our officer felt Mr
Mower's car may have been obstructing his
vehicle."
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