MADNESS

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STILL NOT LIASING
Residents living at either end of an alley linking Poyser Avenue with Field Lane, in Chaddesden, had waited more than 20 YEARS for the uneven and dark passageway to be improved, when they secured £4,000 funding from the Derby Homes-administered City Housing Improvement Plans (CHIPS) for resurfacing and new lighting. The work was completed on Monday, November 10 but on the following day council contractor ABB dug up the freshly-laid tarmac to install lighting. Incredibly, the council now says the path may have to be dug up yet again to enable East Midlands Electricity to connect the lights to the mains supply.

Derby City Council initially said East Midlands Electricity was responsible, but EME maintained it had nothing to do with the work. The council has since said EME had not known about the job and that its own contractor which was responsible. A spokeswoman for East Midlands Electricity said that after making extensive inquiries she was unable to find any requests from Derby City Council for the work. She said, "There has been lots of confusion around this, but it was not us. Contractors working on behalf of the council usually install the lights and then our trained staff connect each light to the national grid. We've not done any work there."

A spokesman for city council said, "The fact that the contractors came along and installed the lights the day after the pavement was completed is an unfortunate coincidence. We could only control the timing of resurfacing. We knew that there had been a lot of calls for the work to be done because the old pavement was uneven and dangerous. The pavement will be restored back the same high quality it was before the lights were fitted for no extra cost as the job criteria was to install and make good."

STANDARDS TO MAINTAIN
A lollipop lady has been banned from wearing a hat that she had covered with charity badges. Audrey Elliot started working as the school crossing patrol six years ago. She helps schoolchildren, adults and the elderly to cross the busy A6005 Nottingham Road during the morning and evening rush hours. Along with the plastic lollipop and fluorescent uniform, Mrs Elliot became famous to Borrowash schoolchildren, parents and motorists for the mixture of badges on her hat. But Mrs Elliot's supervisor, who works for Derbyshire County Council, recently spotted the badge-covered hat and banned her from wearing it.

The black bowler-style hat has a reflective trim and is part of the uniform for all county council lollipop men and women. Her collection of badges began with a single charity one when she started the job, but grew to around 30 pin badges. But under council rules, a school crossing patrol is permitted to wear only two badges, one to show length of service and the other to mark 50 years of crossing patrols. Council spokeswoman Liz Tomes said, "There's a need for crossing patrol personnel to command respect with the traffic. Their authority is shown through their uniform. If we make an exception to the rule, there's the possibility that other people may decide to do the same."

Heated lollipop sticks are being tested by Powergen in Norwich. The sticks will also be tested in Nottingham, Manchester and London.

FLOWERS ARE NOT APPROPRIATE IN A GARDEN
More than three years ago Eamonn Enright wanted to put his gardening skills to work on a grassy communal area outside his home. He was given the go-ahead over the phone by Erewash Borough Council, and since then he has slaved away, planting and tending flowers and shrubs. Now, however, he has been given 28 days to dig up the lot and restore the site to its original state. The order has come from Three Valleys Housing Ltd, which now has council house management responsibilities.

It claims, Mr Enright did not seek permission for his work and was therefore in breach of his tenancy agreement. Had he requested permission, it would have been refused because his work is viewed as "inappropriate in a garden area". Flowers and shrubs inappropriate? We wait with bated breath to see what Three Valleys comes up with which is more appropriate.

This has not been a surreptitious operation by Mr Enright. Everything has been in full view and no other tenants are understood to have lodged any complaint, official or unofficial. But Three Valleys is apparently within its rights, and Mr Enright will have to put up with it. But how about this for twisting the blade? Mr Enright is currently recovering from hospital surgery, and will be unable to wield a spade for several weeks.

So Three Valleys says it will arrange for the clearance work to be done and then charge him for the work! What a magnificent way to repay somebody who has done something for the benefit and enjoyment of his fellow tenants for the last three years. Arms-length management companies like Three Valleys do not have to put themselves up for public re-election, of course. More's the pity. (Source: Derby Evening Telegraph)

After public pressure, Three Valleys Housing relented and allowed Mr Enright to keep his garden.

INAPPROPRIATE AUTHOR
Gay author, Narvel Annable, had been booked to give a talk to Belper Women's Institute but the group cancelled the visit, saying he would "not be suitable". The WI has given conflicting reasons as to why the talk was cancelled, because he is a gay author and due to concerns over the content of his talk. Belper WI programme secretary Shirley Sheldon said, "We decided to cancel Mr Annable's talk after reading some press cuttings, which stated that he was a gay author. We thought a talk by someone who is gay would not be suitable for our older members and we did not want him to go into detail about his sexuality."

Marian Maddox, president of Belper WI, said, "We were aware of Mr Annable's sexuality when we booked him to talk to the group. However, we were then advised by another local group that his talks are quite explicit and would be unsuitable for the older WI members. We also decided to cancel in kindness to him. If his talk was inappropriate, he would be victim to a slow hand-clap and most of the members would have walked out." They tend to get very sensitive at your average women's institute these days if you portray them in anything but a progressive light.

That is an outdated image, they insist, for an organisation which is moving with the times, keen to attract newcomers and with a constantly evolving agenda of activities to stimulate its members. Remarkably, Marian Maddox, Belper president, then said the cancellation was a kindness, as if his talk had proved inappropriate "he would be victim to a slow hand-clap and most of the members would have walked out". Obviously speakers don't get the courtesy of being heard out in silence these days. (Source: Derby Evening Telegraph)