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NO CLIMBING
A 74-year-old widow has had a notice erected on an electricity pole in her garden warning her not to climb it. Western Power Distributors put the sign up at Margery Allen's home in Lyme Regis, Dorset, under EU rules. A spokesman said, "It sounds silly, but safety's our priority." Margery replied, "I've had knee and hip replacements and lived here for 40 years, never once has it occurred to me to climb the pole." (Source: Sunday Mirror, Apr/07)

CAR RAGE 'MADMAN'
A road-rage motorist was branded a "raving lunatic" by a judge who heard how he repeatedly banged another driver's car door against his legs as he tried to get out. Christopher Easton, who had been blocked in, then reversed into his victim's car four times. Even his own wife ended up on the bonnet as she tried to stop him during the incident in Combe Martin, North Devon. Judge Ian McKintosh told Exeter Crown Court: "This man is a raving lunatic. He is a madman." Easton was given a two-year community order and a two-year driving ban. Is that just punishment for a "raving lunatic"? (Source: Sunday Mirror, Apr/07)

POLICE: WE CAN'T FIND YOU
A woman rang police about nuisance yobs, only to be told her village did not exist. When Ann Meagher called the police non-emergency number she was told the hamlet of Allen's Green, Herts, where she has lived for eight years, was not on their computer system. Two female officers were sent from Bishop's Stortford, six miles away, but Mrs Meagher said they took two hours to arrive and only after she guided them in over the phone. (Source: Sunday Mirror, Apr/07)

LESS DOG MUCK IN THE STREET
A Dutch firm claims to have eliminated the problem of dog muck by creating a dog food that leaves almost no waste. Developers Jos van der Linden and Nanette Waldorp say 90% of the food, called Energique, is absorbed into the dog's body. They claim remaining 10% comes out the other end as a smell-free dry pellet that can be picked up by hand in a tissue. The new product is being hailed as a major boost in the fight to cut down on the problem of dog mess on city streets. Regular dog food only consists of about 15% meat, chicken leftovers, cereal crops and water. Jos van der Linden said, "The food comes out as it came in, the problem is that a dog's bowel is not made for cereal crops. The whole secret behind the success of Energique is the simple approach that dogs, were they not pets, would only eat meat." (Source: Ananova, Apr/07)

COUNCIL GARDENERS MOW DOWN A 'BRITAIN IN BLOOM' ENTRY
A wildflower meadow which had been planted in a run down churchyard, to restore some community pride, was mown down by council workers. The gardeners went to work with their grass cutting mowers and have ruined the award winning project which, ironically, had received £300 to buy plants by the same under fire council. Pupils at a local primary school had helped plant out the meadow in the grounds of St Andrews Church in Torquay, Devon, last Autumn in a bid to instill pride into the local environment. Torbay Council has apologised for the blunder and the upset it has caused.

Margaret Forbes-Hamilton, chairman of the Friends of the Churchyard group, said, "It's a typical case of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing at the council. It's very disappointing, especially considering the lawn cutting team was told exactly what to leave for us to look after. It was to be an integral part of our application to Britain in Bloom, and we were ahead of the game here as this year's theme is Going Wild. Now what do we have? A nice patch of mown lawn." A council spokesman said, "Unfortunately the wildflower meadow was included in the first round of grass cutting for the year and we are deeply sorry for the upset it may have caused. "We are confident that the flowers will recover."

Put a piece of paper in the wrong bin and you get fined. When the council commits this kind of vandalism, no one gets penalised at all. Why the discrimination? Another instance of sheer incompetence. The idiots who allowed this to happen should be sacked. Perhaps for greater reliability and also lower running costs, the sooner we have robots with artificial intelligence to do this kind of work the better. (Source: Mail on Sunday, Apr/07)

WOMAN STOLE CAR BY MISTAKE
A Romanian woman turned herself in to the police after she mistakenly stole a car on her way home from church. The woman told police she borrowed a car from a friend to go to an evening sermon in the town of Miercurea Ciuc, Harghita county. After the service, the woman, whose identity was not revealed, went to what she believed was the same car, unlocked the doors, started the engine and drove back to her friend's house. In the morning, the friend realised she had the wrong car in the garage and called the woman who realised her mistake and went to the police. Local police confirmed the two cars of Romanian brand Dacia had the same colour and their keys fit one another. The car's owner decided not to press any charges. (Source: Ananova, Apr/07)

SENT HOME FROM SCHOOL FOR HAVING BLACK HAIR
A 14-year-old girl was excluded from school because she dyed her hair BLACK. Nicola Flynn was temporarily excluded from St Edmund Arrowsmith High School at Ashton after going from blonde to black. Step-dad Paul Dewhurst said, "It's ridiculous and ludicrous. She changed her hair colour from dark brown to blonde in September and nothing was said. Now, they say she can't go back until she changes her hair to her original colour because this is an 'extreme change' but this is closer to that than when she went blonde."

Earlier this year, Stephanie Tudor, a St Edmund Arrowsmith pupil, was told she would be excluded for wearing her hair in tight plaits, despite black students sporting the same hairdo. The school ruled that her pink beads were an "extreme hairstyle" banned under its code of conduct, and forced her to spend breaktimes indoors away from her pals. However, teachers have taken no action against classmates with the same style who are from an Afro-Caribbean background. (Source: Wigan Today, Mar/07)

QUEEN OF BRITAIN
Cherie Blair had an argument with airport security staff, asking them if they realised she was the Prime Minister’s wife. She wanted to take THREE items of hand luggage on to her flight but her husband’s Government brought in a “one item only” anti-terror rule four months previously. Fellow passengers heard her comment about being the PM’s wife after staff failed to recognise her and an airport boss eventually let her through, with ALL her luggage. However, a traveller behind her, who had only TWO bags, was told one must go in the hold.

He fumed, “Why should there be one rule for her and one for me?" Downing Street insisted Mrs Blair did not bend the rules. A spokeswoman said, “There were three people in Mrs Blair’s party and three pieces of hand luggage. The rules were met. We rest our case.” Arrogance to a man! If she was travelling with two other people, then why was she carrying their luggage? Isn't this an offence under the new airport regulations? (Source: The Sun, Mar/07)

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