WASTE OF PUBLIC MONEY
Powys council bosses, who failed to do
criminal checks on 44 teachers, then wasted over
£4,000 trying to find out who tipped off
journalists. (Source: Sunday People, Apr/07) |
THE
BLEEDIN' OBVIOUS
Asia Pacific Cohort Studies
Collaboration has determined that "giving up
smoking can reduce the risk of dying from smoking
related disease". No - really? |
DOG
SHIT HAM
A Wakefield man lost his appetite when he found
"dog shit" listed among the ingredients
on a packet of ham. He examined another of the
300g containers and saw the same 'additive'
listed on the label.
Manufacturer H R Hargreaves & Son said it
axed an employee over the labeling prank and was
trying to recall the ham.
A spokesman for the firm said, "We can't
have people fooling about with food products. A
number of packs are affected. We're trying to
find out what shops they're in." (Source: Ananova, Jan/06) |
FINED
OVER A JAR LABEL
A British shopkeeper in Spain has been
fined £1,350 for selling a jar of pickled onions
with an English label. Food inspectors spotted
the £1.20 jar among hundreds of correctly
labelled items in Helen Rush's store.
A local law says ingredients must be translated
into Spanish. She said, "It's irrelevant to
them that 99.9% of my clients are Brits and a
Spaniard wouldn't eat a pickled onion at
gunpoint." She pointed out that EU law says
labels must be in the consumers' language, but
surely if 99.9% of her clients are Brits, the
labels conform. (Source: Ananova, Apr/07) |
MUSICAL
CONDOM
A musical condom designed to play louder
and faster as lovers reach a climax is to go on
sale in Ukraine. Grigoriy Chausovsky, from
Zaporozhye, said his condoms came fitted with a
special sensor that registers when the condom is
put on.
It transmits a signal to a miniature speaker in
the base of the condom which play a melody. He
told local media, "As the sex becomes more
passionate, it registers the increased speed of
the movements and plays the melody faster and
louder." (Source: Ananova, Mar/07) |
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NO
CLIMBING
A 74-year-old widow has had a notice erected on
an electricity pole in her garden warning her not to
climb it. Western Power Distributors put the sign up at
Margery Allen's home in Lyme Regis, Dorset, under EU
rules. A spokesman said, "It sounds silly, but
safety's our priority." Margery replied, "I've
had knee and hip replacements and lived here for 40
years, never once has it occurred to me to climb the
pole." (Source: Sunday Mirror, Apr/07)
CAR
RAGE 'MADMAN'
A road-rage motorist was branded a "raving
lunatic" by a judge who heard how he repeatedly
banged another driver's car door against his legs as he
tried to get out. Christopher Easton, who had been
blocked in, then reversed into his victim's car four
times. Even his own wife ended up on the bonnet as she
tried to stop him during the incident in Combe Martin,
North Devon. Judge Ian McKintosh told Exeter Crown Court:
"This man is a raving lunatic. He is a madman."
Easton was given a two-year community order and a
two-year driving ban. Is that just punishment for a
"raving lunatic"? (Source: Sunday Mirror, Apr/07)
POLICE:
WE CAN'T FIND YOU
A woman rang police about nuisance yobs, only to
be told her village did not exist. When Ann Meagher
called the police non-emergency number she was told the
hamlet of Allen's Green, Herts, where she has lived for
eight years, was not on their computer system. Two female
officers were sent from Bishop's Stortford, six miles
away, but Mrs Meagher said they took two hours to arrive
and only after she guided them in over the phone.
(Source: Sunday Mirror, Apr/07)
LESS
DOG MUCK IN THE STREET
A Dutch firm claims to have eliminated the
problem of dog muck by creating a dog food that leaves
almost no waste. Developers Jos van der Linden and
Nanette Waldorp say 90% of the food, called Energique, is
absorbed into the dog's body. They claim remaining 10%
comes out the other end as a smell-free dry pellet that
can be picked up by hand in a tissue. The new product is
being hailed as a major boost in the fight to cut down on
the problem of dog mess on city streets. Regular dog food
only consists of about 15% meat, chicken leftovers,
cereal crops and water. Jos van der Linden said,
"The food comes out as it came in, the problem is
that a dog's bowel is not made for cereal crops. The
whole secret behind the success of Energique is the
simple approach that dogs, were they not pets, would only
eat meat." (Source: Ananova, Apr/07)
COUNCIL
GARDENERS MOW DOWN A 'BRITAIN IN BLOOM' ENTRY
A wildflower meadow which had been planted in a
run down churchyard, to restore some community pride, was
mown down by council workers. The gardeners went to work
with their grass cutting mowers and have ruined the award
winning project which, ironically, had received £300 to
buy plants by the same under fire council. Pupils at a
local primary school had helped plant out the meadow in
the grounds of St Andrews Church in Torquay, Devon, last
Autumn in a bid to instill pride into the local
environment. Torbay Council has apologised for the
blunder and the upset it has caused.
Margaret Forbes-Hamilton, chairman of the Friends of the
Churchyard group, said, "It's a typical case of the
left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing at the
council. It's very disappointing, especially considering
the lawn cutting team was told exactly what to leave for
us to look after. It was to be an integral part of our
application to Britain in Bloom, and we were ahead of the
game here as this year's theme is Going Wild. Now what do
we have? A nice patch of mown lawn." A council
spokesman said, "Unfortunately the wildflower meadow
was included in the first round of grass cutting for the
year and we are deeply sorry for the upset it may have
caused. "We are confident that the flowers will
recover."
Put a piece of paper in the wrong bin and you get fined.
When the council commits this kind of vandalism, no one
gets penalised at all. Why the discrimination? Another
instance of sheer incompetence. The idiots who allowed
this to happen should be sacked. Perhaps for greater
reliability and also lower running costs, the sooner we
have robots with artificial intelligence to do this kind
of work the better. (Source: Mail on Sunday, Apr/07)
WOMAN
STOLE CAR BY MISTAKE
A Romanian woman turned herself in to the police after
she mistakenly stole a car on her way home from church.
The woman told police she borrowed a car from a friend to
go to an evening sermon in the town of Miercurea Ciuc,
Harghita county. After the service, the woman, whose
identity was not revealed, went to what she believed was
the same car, unlocked the doors, started the engine and
drove back to her friend's house. In the morning, the
friend realised she had the wrong car in the garage and
called the woman who realised her mistake and went to the
police. Local police confirmed the two cars of Romanian
brand Dacia had the same colour and their keys fit one
another. The car's owner decided not to press any
charges. (Source: Ananova, Apr/07)
SENT
HOME FROM SCHOOL FOR HAVING BLACK HAIR
A 14-year-old girl was excluded from school
because she dyed her hair BLACK. Nicola Flynn was
temporarily excluded from St Edmund Arrowsmith High
School at Ashton after going from blonde to black.
Step-dad Paul Dewhurst said, "It's ridiculous and
ludicrous. She changed her hair colour from dark brown to
blonde in September and nothing was said. Now, they say
she can't go back until she changes her hair to her
original colour because this is an 'extreme change' but
this is closer to that than when she went blonde."
Earlier this year, Stephanie Tudor, a St Edmund
Arrowsmith pupil, was told she would be excluded for
wearing her hair in tight plaits, despite black students
sporting the same hairdo. The school ruled that her pink
beads were an "extreme hairstyle" banned under
its code of conduct, and forced her to spend breaktimes
indoors away from her pals. However, teachers have taken
no action against classmates with the same style who are
from an Afro-Caribbean background. (Source: Wigan Today, Mar/07)
QUEEN
OF BRITAIN
Cherie Blair had an argument with airport
security staff, asking them if they realised she was the
Prime Ministers wife. She wanted to take THREE
items of hand luggage on to her flight but her
husbands Government brought in a one item
only anti-terror rule four months previously.
Fellow passengers heard her comment about being the
PMs wife after staff failed to recognise her and an
airport boss eventually let her through, with ALL her
luggage. However, a traveller behind her, who had only
TWO bags, was told one must go in the hold.
He fumed, Why should there be one rule for her and
one for me?" Downing Street insisted Mrs Blair did
not bend the rules. A spokeswoman said, There were
three people in Mrs Blairs party and three pieces
of hand luggage. The rules were met. We rest our
case. Arrogance to a man! If she was travelling
with two other people, then why was she carrying their
luggage? Isn't this an offence under the new airport
regulations? (Source: The Sun, Mar/07)
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