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OLD BANGER
Boss Chris Allen bought the number plate GF05 NOV for his fireworks company in Narberth, Pembrokeshire.
NO SYMPATHY
A boys hand was blown off when a giant firework he lit in a classroom exploded in front of him. The 15-year-old entered the school at night and placed the special display pyrotechnic in a cupboard, lit it and closed the door.

When it failed to go off, he opened the cupboard and tried to grab the firework to see what had gone wrong. It blew up, totally destroying his hand and causing him serious chest injuries. Go on, allow yourself a wry smile.
NO COMMON-SENSE
Silver-haired Anthony Mathlin, 58, with a big bushy beard was told he was not allowed to buy fireworks to entertain his ten grandkids, because he could not prove he was over 18. Mr Mathlin, in a wheelchair because of arthritis, thought staff were kidding at the Co-op near his home in Basingstoke, Hants.

But he was stunned when he returned with his registered disabled card, and was told that was no good because it did not carry his date of birth. A spokesman for Southern Co-operatives said, “Buyers must produce full ID to remove from the sales person the onus to judge age.”

In other words, according to the Co-op, the sales people employed by them are not intelligent enough to determine this themselves.
       


FIREWORKS

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FireworksSlough Borough Council has scrapped the bonfire from its traditional Guy Fawkes' night public display because bosses do not want to be seen to be hypocritical when trying to promote a greener environment. They are expected to use a trapeze act instead. One resident said, "Last year the bonfire was replaced with a trapeze act, which led to a furious backlash from many people. They stated, as fact, that they were intending to alternate between having entertainment one year and a bonfire the next. They went on to promise that the bonfire would return for 2007." A Slough Borough Council spokesman said, "There is a lot that goes into the fire and it takes a lot of time to burn out and that all goes up into the air. We cannot put up a big bonfire and then at the same time have the campaign. There were no promises last year." (Source: Daily Mail, Oct/07)


The tradition of letting off fireworks on 5 November to commemorate Guy Fawkes and the Gunpowder Plot of 1605 has long since ceased to be a harmless tradition. Vandalism involving fireworks has escalated in recent years, with more reports of fireworks being pushed through letter boxes or thrown at children and animals. More serious criminals have also cottoned on to the potential of fireworks as a terror weapon. Councils around the country receive thousands of complaints and more than 1,000 people are injured by fireworks annually.

The upsurge in fireworks-related crime has led some senior police officers to call for a total ban on the sale of fireworks. The British Fireworks Association, which represents fireworks retailers, favours stricter laws but argues against a total ban. It claims banning the sale of fireworks altogether would drive them underground, a view endorsed by the government. So, with that reasoning, why ban drugs then? Police and trading standards officers have joined forces in an attempt to find the traders responsible for illegally supplying fireworks to children.

The move came after two boys, aged 12 and 13, needed hospital treatment for burns received through playing with a firework. Residents in the area had been complaining about a series of loud explosions and believed youngsters could be making homemade bombs. New legislation in the Fireworks Act 2003 means certain fireworks, like airbombs, will be banned and measures such as noise curfews will be introduced. The sale of fireworks will also be restricted to certain times of the year, such as the run up to November 5th. The Act will impose a 120-decibel noise limit on fireworks available to the public and under 18s will face a fine if they are caught with them.

It will be illegal to set them off after 11pm without a licence. Consumer Minister Gerry Sutcliffe said, "It'll make a real difference to peoples lives." Oh yeah? It is intended that this will help prevent such occurences as a giant rocket, designed for use in public displays, being thrown at a house at 11pm causing damage estimated at more than £1,000. Regarding the two boys aged 12 and 13, legally they have reached the age of criminal responsibility so it could be argued they have no one to blame but themselves. But of course, this new legislation will make no difference because it will be unenforceable. For whatever sale or restriction of use methods are employed, while ever explosives are made generally available to the public, the moron element will continue to obtain and abuse them, for example............

A man was rushed to hospital in agony after copying a Jackass TV stunt by sticking a firework in his rectum. The 26-year-old slipped over backwards just as the banger exploded. He landed on his arse and took the full force of the blast which had meant to be directed skyward. His insides were scorched and his penis almost blown off. Surgeons had to perform a colostomy, leaving him incontinent. He is also now impotent. MTV show Jackass warns viewers not to attempt its stunts, which also include trampolining into ceiling fans and swimming in sewage. But then, we ARE dealing with the general public here.


More than 2,000 tons of fireworks are being sold illegally in Britain, part of a growing black market in illicit explosives being targeted by police. Recently, seven tons of allegedly illegal fireworks were discovered during a raid in South Yorkshire and South Wales Police seized a 60-ton stockpile of illegal fireworks, the biggest haul found in Britain. The container loads held in Cardiff reportedly amount to more than all the fireworks for the official Millennium celebrations in London and Sydney combined. They are thought to have been imported from East Asia for sale in the run-up to Bonfire Night. Police and trading standards officers have confiscated fireworks around the country, from housing estates in Northamptonshire to car boot sales in Stafford, including more than four tons in Stoke-on-Trent.

The illicit fireworks were not just being let off to annoy neighbours, in some areas, they had been adapted or mixed with other materials for maximum noise and damage. A car was destroyed in an explosion after a firework was aimed at its fuel tank, telephone boxes have been blown up using the gunpowder from fireworks and a car bomb outside a night-club and a nail bomb thrown into a pub both used components from fireworks. The Royal Society for Prevention of Accidents estimates that 20% of the £1m-worth of fireworks imported every day are untraceable. Most enter Britain through the port of Felixstowe. Experts say most problems occur after fireworks have cleared Customs, when they are sold on illegally, often alongside drink and tobacco.


A teenager blew his bedroom up when an industrial firework exploded. Sixteen-year-old Dean Kevill was playing with a cigarette lighter in bed when gas dripped from the flame on to the firework, which had a sticker saying it was not for general sale. The bang cracked all four walls, pushing one six inches out of place, windows blew out and the roof of the house was raised. Bet he's a 'good boy' really!

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