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TWO LIMES COULD BE CLASSED AS A WEAPON
Marisa Zoccolan popped into the new Asda supermarket close to her home in Wallsend, North Tyneside, to pick up some groceries, including the citrus fruits. But when she tried to pay for them at the self-service checkout, the message 'amount exceeded, authorisation required' flashed up. An assistant then came over and told her that more than one lime was deemed a weapon because the citric acid could be squirted in someone's eye. The assistant allowed Marisa to eventually buy both of the fruits.

A spokeswoman for Asda said Ms Zoccalan would be offered some 'complimentary limes' as an apology. She said, "We know that sometimes health and safety rules can seem a bit plum crazy, but on this occasion it's a case of one of our colleagues indulging their sub-lime sense of humour. For some reason our tills are having trouble scanning multiple citrus fruits. We're working to fix the problem, but it seems our colleague tried to make light of the issue." More than one lime a weapon? So does buying them in a multi pack deem them to be weapons of mass destruction? (Source: Daily Mail, Nov/11)

FIRST PORN SITE ERECTED ON .XXX ADDRESS
The first porn site to use a .xxx web address has gone live, and domain manager ICM Registry has announced another way to make internet perving a "safer" experience. Casting.xxx (NSFW, incredibly) started doing its bit to feed the world's appetite for "adult entertainment" last night. While ICM has had a corporate site online at about.xxx for a few months, casting.xxx is the first actual porn site to use a .xxx domain name.

The domain is registered to a company called Really Useful, based in the Turks and Caicos Islands. According to ICM, it has been given several .xxx addresses under its so-called Founders Program. Finally, porn on the internet! It's not confirmed if Really Useful is part of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Really Useful Group. If it is, look out for Jesus Christ Pornstar, Starfish Express, Pussies, The Pound of Music and Joseph and His Grubby Overcoat. (Source: The Register, Aug/11)

FAMILIES NEED TO FEEL SAFE AT HOME, SAYS PM
Families need to "feel safe in their homes" and will not be prosecuted for using reasonable force to defend them, David Cameron has announced. He made the comments as he scrapped plans to halve jail terms for offenders who plead guilty early, saying they would have been too lenient and criminals would have been sent the "wrong message". He said, "Public confidence isn't a side-issue in this debate, it is the issue. My mission is to make sure families feel safe in their homes and they can walk the streets freely and without fear. Our policies are about making sure that is the case. The system today is failing and badly needs reform."

He promised that the new justice bill would "put beyond doubt that homeowners and small shopkeepers who use reasonable force to defend themselves or their properties will not be prosecuted". The sentencing plans had promised to save around £100 million from the Ministry of Justice's £8billion budget but Mr Cameron said "efficiencies" elsewhere would now have to be found. He insisted that the u-turn was a sign of weak government and said the Government was planning on cutting prison terms to cut costs. However, the climbdown is a political embarrassment for Mr Clarke who had seen the 50% discount for early pleas as a key plank in his plans to cut the prison population and save money.

Under the plans, thousands of violent foreign criminals will escape prosecution if they promise to return home. Migrant offenders guilty of assault, including those who attack police officers, will be offered a conditional caution so long as they leave the country. It means they will avoid the courts and the risk of a prison term with effectively little more than a “slap on the wrist”. They could still be able to apply to return to Britain after two years. Foreign fraudsters, thieves and those caught with cocaine or heroin will also be eligible for a conditional caution under the plans. The Bill will also contain plans to remove legal aid from squatters fighting eviction while immigrants appealing against refused visa renewals will no longer be publicly funded. (Source: Daily Telegraph, Jun/11)

Comment:
'Families need to feel safe in their homes.' But we're not safe in our homes because we have a barely functioning police force, a broken criminal justice system that simply operates in order to put taxpayers' money into the pockets of lawyers and due to an open-door immigration policy, we have a large proportion of the population who are unaccounted for and therefore operate perpetually in the black economy and the criminal underworld. I've always wondered how 'reasonable force' is defined.

Confronted with a home invader, my first course of action would be to hit the bastard as hard as possible with the most lethal implement available. Anything less raises the possibility that he's able to come back at you, and now it's hand-to-hand between you and someone possibly younger, stronger and more experienced. Totally disabling the invader with the first blow is eminently reasonable in my book, anything less is simply inviting a possibly life threatening counter attack.

And Mr Cameron, in case you hadn’t noticed the law already allows for reasonable force to be used. Section 3 of the Criminal Law Act 1967 says that, "A person may use such force as is reasonable in the circumstances in the prevention of crime, or in effecting or assisting in the lawful arrest of offenders or suspected offenders or of persons unlawfully at large". Cameron does not have to introduce a bill to put this beyond doubt, it has been the law for 44 years.

If he does not know this he is incompetent, and if he does he attempting to deceive the public. The problem here is the police and the CPS, two bodies who have proved beyond any doubt that they will never miss an opportunity to screw over innocent people who have done no more than stand up to violent thugs. How about reforming them?

Unless they change the word reasonable to all, then nothing has changed. Law abiding citizens should have the right to defend the lives of themselves and their loved ones and their property by ANY and ALL means possible, (including firearms) against criminals and anyone who sets foot on private property without invitation and with criminal intent OR assaults a law abiding citizen should lose all rights, including right to life.

BLOODY LIARS
The incoming Labour Government's line could hardly have been clearer. "Every country must have firm control over immigration," said Tony Blair's 1997 manifesto, "and Britain is no exception." Behind the scenes, however, a very different strategy was taking shape. An explosive draft report by the Cabinet Office, written in 2000, exposes the new Government's deliberate policy of throwing open our borders.

Crucially, this was not, as it was sold to voters, simply to fill the skills gaps opening up in our then-booming economy. As the hitherto secret report confirms, the calculated aim was also to transform Britain into a fully multicultural society. In the blunt words of a loose-tongued Labour adviser who worked on the report, it was to 'rub the Right's nose in diversity and render their arguments out of date'.

Of course, some will argue that multiculturalism is indeed a worthy end in itself, although you won't often hear that said in places such as Reading, where 127 languages are spoken in schools. But in a democracy, don't ministers have a duty to tell us what they are up to and why, and to let our votes be the judges? Of all Labour's legacies, the effects of ten years of unrestricted immigration will surely be the most lasting. (Source: 1kewldude2, Feb/10)

SNOUTS IN THE TROUGH
The bank which was bailed out with £20billion of taxpayers’ cash, laid on £260,000 of hospitality for its executives and their clients at Wimbledon. RBS staff enjoyed champagne and lobster platters in a luxurious suite attached to Court One. As one group of bankers strolled out late for Rafael Nadal’s match against Gilles Muller, they spoke admiringly of the gourmet menu they had just sampled. RBS has exclusive rights to Suite H in a range of hospitality areas attached to Court One. Nearby clients include Hertz and HSBC bank. RBS axed 15,000 jobs following the bail-out.

This year’s junket is understood to be costing the bank around £260,000 as part of a three-year contract with the All England Club worth £800,000. The Wimbledon hospitality package gives staff access to Court One and Centre Court for 13 days of the tournament. RBS’s suite can accommodate 42 guests. The ‘summer luncheon’ menu they are enjoying this week includes grilled fillet of West Country beef with wild mushrooms, baked Anglesey sea bass and summer veg bubble and squeak. Wines include a Chassagne-Montrachet Les Chaumes Domaine Roux and a Gevrey-Chamberlin Domaine Roux. (Source: Mail on Sunday, Jun/11)

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