CUSTOMER ADVICE

No matter how flirty the cashier appears to be to you she doesn't want you in any way.

When you order your food then complain about it and have them bring you another plate, 75% of the time they're bringing you back out the same plate of food.

If an item doesn't scan right it has absolutely nothing to do with the cashier. It's usually due to a database upload fault. So don't be an arse and take it out on the cashier.

Don't expect us to be mind readers. Even though you may be a regular customer if the place has 400 regular customers then we can't be expected to remember you all.

If the lights are off in the store, we aren't open. What makes you think differently?

We don't care about your cat, dog, sister, brother, etc. We are paid to get our work done. Not listen to all of your stories about your life. If you want to tell stories find someone you know.

You saying you bought this here is not good enough proof to us that you actually bought the item in our store. So don't be an idiot because we have to check if we carry the product. It was your fault to begin with that you didn't bring your receipt.

We are not here to provide daycare, hire a babysitter to watch your children and teach them some manners since you are obviously either too busy and/or inept to do it yourself.

Don't approach me when I'm wearing my work uniform and ask me, "do you work here?" No, I just love the uniforms they wear here and decided to buy one.

To be perfectly honest, We don't care how much money you've spent here, the store just made 3 times that in the five minutes we've been talking to you.

If the IN door is locked but the OUT door is not that still means we are CLOSED. We just need to get out ourselves and WON'T open a register just for YOU!

Wait your turn! If you see that I'm the only one working and there are ten friggin' customers in front of you, you are not next!

When the checkout registers have lights to them, here's a tip: if the light is on the register is open. If the light is off the register is closed. It DOES NOT MATTER if there is an employee behind the counter. It’s still closed.

When an employee has his/her coat on and is heading towards the door, this usually means they are done, finished work, has a life and things to do - so don't stop us and ask us questions as if we are still working. We don't care that much.

Just because you know how to yell, bluster, and abuse me doesn't mean I'm going to fall down and worship you. In fact, it means that all I'm going to do is what's necessary. The guy who treats me like a human being will get the extra mile from me.

When you stand in line at the bank, those "please wait here for next cashier" signs are there for a reason. Just because the cashier has finished with a customer, it doesn't mean she is immediately ready for the next one. If she doesn't call you over, there's usually a reason. She may have money to put away or a transaction to complete.

When you're in a shop and you have to approach an employee - PUT THE DAMN MOBILE PHONE DOWN! You’re not that important that you need to make calls during the time it will take you to shop.

When there's a sign displayed for you, with lots of letters forming words, it's probably a good idea to read it before asking your question. It usually has your answer.

Don't whine at us when our product is 20 pence more expensive than our competitors down the street. Get your lazy arse down the street and spare yourself 20 pence and us you’re bitching.

Try to find out what your kids want to eat BEFORE you get to the counter. If you've been waiting as long as you say you have, why haven't you decided yet? The menus are hanging up on the wall, it's not like there's a rule that says you can't read them until you get there. There's nothing in this world that's more annoying than having you get here and say, "What do you want, Johnny?" Johnny stands there, swaying, staring at the counter, with no clue as to what's going on. I doubt he heard you. You KNOW you're just going to make up his mind for him. So DO it.