VERY
WINDY
At the height of the gale, the Harbour
Master radioed a coastguard and asked him to
estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry,
but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was
any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover
off the cliff. (Source: Aberdeen
Evening Express) |
HAPPENS
ALL THE TIME
A young girl who was blown out to sea on
a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on
an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman
commented, "This sort of thing is all too
common". (Source: The
Times) |
MISPLACED
LOYALTY
Mrs Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue,
Boscombe, delighted the audience with her
reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who
was sent each week to do her garden. He was
repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled.
"He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap,
but when the crocuses came up in the middle of
our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil
Hitler.'" (Source: Bournemouth
Evening Echo) |
STOLEN
VAN IS A SECRET
Irish police are being handicapped in a
search for a stolen van, because they cannot
issue a description. It's a Special Branch
vehicle and they don't want the public to know
what it looks like. (Source: The
Guardian) |
WOMAN
MISSED HER BOYFRIEND
Police reveal that a woman arrested for
shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear.
When asked why, she said it was because she was
missing her Italian boyfriend. (Source: The
Manchester Evening News) |
CHARGED
FOR HOUSE DESTRUCTION
Commenting on a complaint from a Mr
Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman
for North West Gas said, "We agree it was
rather high for the time of year. It's possible
Mr Purdey has been charged for the gas used up
during the explosion that destroyed his
house." (Source: The
Daily Telegraph) |
RULES
IS RULES
A mum must lift her disabled three-year-old son
on a school bus then follow in her car to carry
him off. Kelly Alderson said council staff
cant lift Owen, who has cerebral palsy, for
health and safety reasons on his trip
to nursery. Middlesbrough workers will get
training. (Source: The Sun, Jan/08) |
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PAY DOCKED AFTER SAVING A LIFE
Firefighter Mark McCracken was docked one week's
wages for taking time off to donate life-saving bone
marrow to a teenage girl. He applied for special leave
after being told he was a match for the leukaemia victim
but fire bosses told him he would not be paid. Bosses at
Lancashire Fire and Rescue Service said all requests for
leave were looked at with a set of consistent criteria
and Mark had been granted special leave.
The Anthony Nolan Trust, which runs a national bone
marrow register to treat leukaemia, said most companies
gave their employees paid leave and has reimbursed Mark's
lost wages. Lancashire secretary of the FBU Steve Harman
said, "It is ironic that a large part of our job is
about saving lives and the lad has saved someone's life
and he is being punished. If you want time off there is a
special leave facility for certain situations."
He added, "The Fire Service knocked him back on paid
special leave and he was given unpaid special leave. It
is a very harsh decision. I was disgusted with them. I
hope they will change the policy. Lots of companies give
paid leave but on this occasion for some odd reason the
Fire Service have chosen not to. It is very saddening. We
are extremely proud and supportive of Mark but we are
saddened by the service's lack of support. We are still
hopeful they will overturn the decision."
Bob Wikinson, chairman of the authority, said managers
did not have the authority to award paid leave but said
the decision could be overturned and the matter would be
discussed at the resources committee of the Fire
Authority. He said, "We will look at it
sympathetically. There has been some frustration because
he has been docked pay. It's just the bureaucracy of
local government. We will be looking at the whole issue
of special leave at the resources committee
meeting." Either you can or you can't, not 'you can,
but only if the media pick up on it'. (Source: Daily Mail, Mar/07)
MAN
KEPT CONTACT LENSES IN FOR A YEAR
A Chinese man had to have his contact lenses
surgically removed after he did not take them out for a
year. Liu started to wear contact lenses a year ago and
never took them out because he found it difficult.
"I only have some eye drops for when they feel
uncomfortable," he said. Liu recently felt his
eyesight was getting worse, so he bought another pair of
lenses and wore them on top of the old ones but when his
eyesight still didn't improve, he took another startling
decision. "I put a pair of used disposal contact
lenses over the other two pairs in my eyes. By then, I
was wearing three pairs of lenses," he said. By the
next day, Liu's eyes had reacted badly to his DIY eyecare
and he finally sought medical attention. A doctor was
shocked to find the first lenses had grown into his eyes
and surgery was needed to take them out. (Source:
Ananova, Mar/07)
NOT
QUITE EQUAL THEN?
Prince Harry was snubbed by staff at an airbase
shop after workers failed to recognise him. Harry walked
into the exchange store at RAF Lakenheath in Suffolk in
full Army uniform. A friend with him tried to buy an iPod
but staff turned him away because he was not a US
serviceman or family member at the American base. A US
forces spokesman said, The till girl didnt
recognise the Prince. Had we known he was coming
wed have arranged something with the base
commander. Why? He isn't a US serviceman or family
member at the American base. (Source: The Sun, Mar/07)
THE
PRIME MINISTER'S STAFF SCREW-UP OVER GLOBAL WARMING
Ten-year-old Charlie Webster was worried about
animals and the effect global warming was having on them,
so he decided to write to Tony Blair about his fears for
the environment. He had expected a simple acknowledgement
in return but he received quite a long letter.
Charlies reply, from No10s Direct
Communications Unit, outlined how the Government was
trying to combat global warming. It went on to give hints
on ways he could save energy at home and school and it
ended, Recycling rubbish is another thing we can
all do as well as saving paper wherever possible. The
more paper used, the more trees are cut down and the more
electricity is used to process it. You could try to use
recycled paper, remembering to use both sides. The
advice was put on two pages, typed on ONE side only. A
Downing Street spokesman said, We are working to
step up our efforts and trying to make No10 as green as
possible. But there is always room for improvement.
Mm ... a fair way to go yet then? (Source: The Sun, Mar/07)
CAN'T
SPEAK FRENCH? GOODBYE!
A would-be copper was rejected by the Met
because his French wasnt good enough. Gino Sabatino
declared he was fluent on his application
form but an assessor rated his skill level as only
conversational, and the following day Gino
was sent a letter turning him down for a place at the
Mets training college in Hendon, North London.
Mr Sabatino said, "I cant understand why I
need to be fluent in French to pound the beat in
London. But Scotland Yard said that Gino had been
dishonest about his French speaking ability
and does not have the attributes to be a police
officer. But if your'e an ethnic and your English
is crap your ok then? (Source: The Sun, Mar/07)
"BLOODY
FOREIGNERS" COST THE TAXPAYER
Long-serving magistrate, Alan Mitchell has been
reprimanded after complaining about "bloody
foreigners" in court. He made the remark when he was
sitting as chairman of the bench at a court in
Manchester. A female colleague overheard his comment and
pointed out she was offended. The JP, who joined the
bench in 1971, replied, "Don't talk to me about
bloody foreigners. I have to travel three miles to go to
a decent chip shop. Don't get me started on Rusholme and
curry."
The Greater Manchester Magistrates Advisory Committee
recommended that Mr Mitchell should receive a serious
reprimand for his behaviour. It also urged that Mr
Mitchell should be demoted from the "active
list" of magistrates to the "supplemental
list", a reserve list rarely called upon to sit on
the bench. The matter was referred to the Office for
Judicial Complaints, part of the Department for
Constitutional Affairs (DCA), and then reviewed by the
Lord Chancellor, Lord Falconer, and the Lord Chief
Justice, Lord Phillips.
A DCA spokesman said, "The advisory committee had
recommended that Mr Mitchell be transferred to the
supplemental list of reserve magistrates following
removal from the active bench, but there is no basis for
appointing a magistrate to the supplemental list as a
result of disciplinary proceedings." What happened
to freedom of speech? He's entitled to complain about the
invasion of this country by other people and to express
it in a private conversation. The person who took offence
'overheard' it so perhaps she should stop listening to
other people's conversations. (Source: Mail on Sunday, Mar/07)
BUS
ROUTES ARE AXED BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO POPULAR
Southdown PSV, which operates in Kent, Surrey
and Sussex, is to axe two popular routes because they are
used by too many pensioners with free passes. Executives
claim the services are unprofitable, despite the company
getting large annual sums of ratepayers' money to
subsidise the free elderly and disabled travellers. The
loss of the routes, after just one year of a four-year
agreement, will leave several villages without public
transport.
Surrey County Council's transport department explained
the closure decision by saying, "The revenue
expectations on these services is much lower than was
anticipated by Southdown when they tendered for the
services in spring 2006. Some of the problems relate to
the introduction of the free fares for senior citizens
and people with disabilities. The proportion of the total
passengers now travelling free being far greater than
originally estimated."
Gordon Keymer, of Tandridge district council, said,
"We believe the services are vital. The district
council pays £500,000 a year to Surrey County Council to
provide free travel for pass-holders, so I don't know why
the bus company says that they have the wrong type of
passengers." Southdown PSV said, "The revenue
is not coming up to our expectation." (Source: Daily Mail, Feb/07)
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