BREASTON MAN TRAPPED IN U-BEND – HELP NEEDED!

This Little Play is a true story, based in the small Derbyshire village of Breaston, in a sunny suburb where the houses are very expensive, and some of the people are very cheap. It centres around a person with whom we can have very great sympathy, a downtrodden resident who becomes both a victim and a hero, fighting for his, and, by default, the rights, of all of us. We think that this little affair will find a note of resonance with many readers, we hope they may even be able to offer us some free legal advice.

The Main Characters;

Granite White - Our hero, a man of steel, who refuses to be intimidated by the unruly forces of law and order.

Mr & Mrs Paddocks - (Nasty neighbours, one a serving police officer and the other a teacher), known to their friends and colleagues as ‘The Mad Docs’, possibly due to their enthusiasm for ‘stitching people up’.

The Police - An organization better known to some than others, and Mr & Mrs Paddocks’ employers.

Constable Brooch - A lady who wants to shine in the police force , but whose inaccurate reporting of events often causes problems, holding her back.

Mr Sharky - Solicitor At Law.

Mrs Maqueue - A local council planning officer.

The Thicklayers - An assorted group of builders and scaffolders. So called because they wrap up well to guard against the consequences of poor workmanship and lack of activity.

Act 1, scene 1

We go straight to Act 1, scene 1, where Mrs Paddocks gallops round to Granite’s house and asks whether their builder’s can scaffold over Granite’s property, in order to increase the height of a garage and extension.

“I absolutely refuse”, said Granite, “This would cause damage to the roof of my garage, with no guarantee that I will get it put right”.

“The builders will put any damage right”, said Mrs Paddocks, (or Mrs Mad Doc to the neighbours!). Obviously, her response was in anticipation of the work of builders of quality!

“Can I have this in Writing, from the builders”?

“Of course”

No letter from the Thick Layers arrives. Subsequently, Granite arrives home from a long day at work to find the following (click on picture right).

Granite is flabbergasted by this and goes to see Mr Sharky the solicitor the very next day, to explain what had happened.

Mr Sharky sends in a very severe letter to the Paddocks, stating that their builders are guilty of trespass, and that ‘under no circumstances’, will his client (Granite), allow this to happen, including the placement of scaffolding in the airspace over his garage roof. He also states that any further intrusion will result in the matter being reported to the police, the offending scaffolding etc, being removed by Granite, followed by court action.

The Thick Layers and PC Paddocks (the serving police officer) are on the Paddocks’ side of the fence a few days later and it is obvious that they are ignoring the letter and have begun working. PC Paddocks is holding the letter from Mr Sharky in his hand and is encouraging the builders to continue working “on my property”, despite Granite’s presence and protestations.

It is at this point that, despite PC Paddocks’ presence, the builders (possibly 4 or 5 in number) verbally threaten Granite with physical violence, accompanied by a tirade of foul-mouthed abuse. PC Paddocks, chooses to ignore this threat against a citizen, despite the pledges he has given in taking up his badge of office. Granite fears for his safety and withdraws.

Scene 2

The builders have completed the work and gone. Granite’s worst fears for his property are realised and there is extensive damage to both the flat and tiled roof sections of his garage. Tiles have been broken and dislodged and the flat roof has a large depression where the Thick Layers have walked on it.

Granite sees Mrs Paddocks and asks her when remedial work to his garage is to be carried out. Mrs Paddocks arranges for the Thick Layers to return and replace the broken and dislodged tiles (of which most are replaced but leaving some damage untouched). She disputes that the builders walked on the flat roof, which remains in a damaged condition.

Granite attempts to take the matter to court but is bounced from pillar to post over various matters of legal trivia.

Following this unsatisfactory conduct from the Paddocks, Granite, whose letter from Mr Sharky has been ignored by them, complains to PC Paddocks employers, the police, in the form of Inspector MaLucksin. He not only sends in a report of what has happened so far, but also a copy of planning law, provided by Mrs Maqueue, the local council planning officer, who states that the Paddocks were in the wrong for not ascertaining the correct boundary line before the work began, as stated in the Tort Law. He also provides photographs of the damage, a copy of Mr Sharky’s original letter, and asks whether by removing the guttering from the Paddocks’ extension, which is overhanging the boundary, both at the side and at the front of the garage, he will be in the wrong. The Paddocks garage has been extended by a length of 2 feet.

The reply from Inspector MaLucksin takes many months due to various letters having to be repeated before a response was received. When it does come back, the Inspector quotes the Criminal Damage Act, 1971, and states that, as the damage was accidental, rather than intentional, a criminal act has not been committed. The audience can judge this for themselves: The relevant section states;

'A person who without lawful excuse, destroys or damages, any property belonging to another intending to destroy or damage any such property or being reckless as to whether any such property would be destroyed or damaged shall be guilty of an offence’.

Further correspondence from Granite to Inspector Malucksin results in the Inspector stating that as the matter is being pursued in the civil courts he feels that it is there that the dispute should be settled. He also advises Granite that by removing any overhanging guttering himself, from the Paddocks property, if he causes any damage he may be liable for being charged with a criminal offence.

Act 2, scene 1

Whilst the previous turmoil is still unresolved, a further development occurs with the boundary fiasco. Granite is informed in writing by the Paddocks that they wish to remove a boundary post in the front of the property, in order to install a fence.

Following this, and in order to protect his interests, Granite sight lines the post and makes a small scratch on the stonework (click on picture right) at the end of the existing SHARED boundary wall at the centre point of the wall.

The next event astonished our hero – PC Brooch, the local community police officer arrived at his house and asked Granite if he had made the mark on the wall, to which he replied that he had, as the Paddocks wanted to remove the boundary post, and that he had marked the wall so that he would know where the boundary was. She stated;

“I have evidence in my notebook that you have caused criminal damage to the Paddock’s wall”.

She proceeded to caution him, stating that the matter was to be reported to the Crown Prosecution Service, and requesting that he attend the police station to make a statement, which he refused to do, over such a minor matter. On this occasion, Granite reports a case of criminal damage from his neighbour on the other side, who has broken down two fenceposts and removed large quantities of earth from Granite’s side, and a boundary post too. She declares that she is not interested, “I am not here for that”.

Act 2, scene 2

As a result of what he considers to be ridiculous and trumped up charges, which he believed were aimed at getting him a criminal conviction, Granite then made an official complaint to the Chief Constable.

Granite receives a telephone call from Inspector Ballustrade to request a meeting at the police station.

At the meeting Inspector Ballustrade will only discuss PC Brooch’s failure to acknowledge and act upon the accusation of criminal damage made by Granite. He refused to discuss either the damage that PC Paddock’s builders had caused, or the mark on the boundary wall, but would only confirm that PC Brooch had been in the wrong not to acknowledge the criminal damage suffered by Granite himself and stated that she “had been spoken to” regarding the incident. Inspector Ballustrade requested several times that Granite “sign a piece of paper to confirm that the incident had been dealt with and concluded”. This Granite could not agree with and refused to do.

Granite is aggrieved that he has suffered damage to his property, threats of physical violence in the presence of his neighbour, a serving police officer who took no action against the people issuing the threats, despite the fact that he was present and that they were on his property at the time; Months of harassment through no fault of his own, resulting from the actions of the contractors, and a spurious act from PC Brooch, followed by indecisive action from the police authorities, all of which have combined to leave him both out-of-pocket and nursing a sense of injustice.

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY LEGAL COMMENTS OR ADVICE?