ALCOHOL WARNINGS

Consumption of alcohol may make you think you're whispering when you're not.

Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an arse-hole.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.

Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named THE BULL.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible.

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.